My question to you is, does it bother you? Should I have it footnoted? Should someone tell Rose what this means?
I'm a big fan of leaving it as is.
Rose edged her way into Grandma Eleonore's house. The clock on the wall said ten till ten. Not good.
It was worth it. Being with Morgan was effortless. They could stay silent side by side or argue with equal comfort. With him she felt...
She tiptoed into the kitchen and froze in the doorway.
Grandmother sat at a table. Her face was very pale. Across from her, resplendid in his leather and fur, sat Declan.
"Good evening, Rose," he said without turning to look at her.
Don't make a scene, she told herself. This had to be handled calmly. "Good evening," she said pleasantly.
"I've come to collect you," he said, his voice perfectly neutral.
Bastard. "Aren't the boys asleep already?"
"I persuaded Madame Eleonore not to rouse them on my account."
Grandmother said nothing.
"I suppose we should be off," Rose said lightly. "Please send the boys over first thing in the morning. Good night, Grandmother."
Declan rose and leaned forward. He gently picked up grandmother's hand and brushed his lips on her knuckles. "Je voudrais vous remercier de tout mon coeur pour votre accueil si chaleureux et votre gentillesse. Bonne nuit, madame."
"Je vous en prie. Au revoir." Grandmother's voice was clipped with tension.
Declan nodded to her and stepped out of the room.
Poll #1179348
Open to: All, results viewable to: All
Use of foreign language
View Answers
doesn't bother me when the character isn't supposed to know what is being said.
44 (66.7%)
should be equipped with a translation in the narrative, that is explained to the character 6 (9.1%)
should be equipped with a translation in the footnote 11 (16.7%)
bothers me and I hate it, period. 1 (1.5%)
тики 13 (19.7%)
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Comments
I think "avec tout mon coeur" would work better than "de tout mon coeur".
And trim it down a bit, I guess, by cutting out "voudrais" as well, since he doesn't "want to thank", but "is thanking", rather. But that's just me.
?
Je vous remercie avec tout mon coeur pour votre accueil si chaleureuse et de votre gentillesse. Bonne nuit, madame.
A snottier version could be:
Madame, je suis reconnaissant de votre accueiul chaleureuse. Bonne nuit.
Which is essentially "Madam, I am thankful of your warm welcome. Good evening." Although I'm guessing you want to stay with your version since it's more courteous and also shows he can be nice.
(I'll go have my nap now)
Me not worthy! Thank you!!!
You're MORE than worthy, although I wouldn't refuse payment in the form of...
Snippets! :D
I don't speak a word of French. Well no, I lie, I can say
Je ne parle pas francais. Parlez-vous l'anglais?
And then people usually laugh at me... :P
The only time it bothers me is when it's absolutely butchered or misused, as in a book I read recently where the character said merdre ("shit") all the time. People who swear in French swear with a lot more colour than "shit", and there are situations where "shit" just doesn't cover it. It drove me batty reading it all the time.
If you want a hand proofing the French, let me know. I'd be happy to help.
Most swear words in French, particularly among the older generation (but also my generation and I'm not all that old) have to do with the Church -- the host, the tabernacle, etc. Other swear words are either really decorative (think the French guy in Matrix 3) or crude (similar to the usual ones in English).
French battle cries, incidentally, have more to do with God and King. For example, in older days, "Diex aye" (old French, modern French would be "Dieux aide") or "God Helps", the honorific of the King, "Chateaubriand!" would do as battle cries. Other French battle cries were "au plus dru" ("in the thickest") or "au feu! au feu!" ("Fire! Fire!").
More recently, I guess you'd use something like "la liberte ou la mort!" ("Freedom or death!").
Somehow, screaming "Shit! shit!" (even if it's in French) smacks more of "oh crap we're outnumbered, let's get out of here!"
:)
Wait. Hold on. How many times have the French run from the battlefield?
(probably a lot. I can think of a bunch of jokes about that)
In which case, the theater teacher was bang on using "merdre!" as a battle cry.
and if I'm really that interested I have a friend who works for a translation service so I just send her the stuff and she sends back the translation (half the time it turns out to be 'did you get the eggs?' 'no dear I did not, should i?' sort of stuff anyhow).
I tend to be very irked by Hercule Poirot mysteries for exactly that reason. Christie can go on for paragraphs in French, and she never translates a thing. ARRRGH!
It didn't bother me though that it was there and I didn't know what was being said.
Foreign language in novels is often a source of unintentional humor. In particular, I've read a lot of books in which the character Speaks! French! Like! A! Native! and the author must include French to prove it to us. In the process, we quickly learn that the author does not, in fact, speak French like a native. As a result, the character doesn't either. (And, oh, how I cringe.)
I think, in general, if you want to use a foreign language: (1) make sure it's right and (2) don't do it a lot if you want the reader (and character) to understand, because it can get irritating.
In this situation, I think it fits.
(Also: "resplendid" -- I think you mean "resplendent")
I don't like footnotes in general--Mark's HHOTD got a mark down because I think the book had too many.
Some people just skip them, other people get distracted by them. I'm one of the latter, and therefore it breaks my reading of the story which isn't good for anybody involved.
I like to know what's being said, of course, but I agree that footnotes aren't the way to go in this case--unless it's important that the reader understand what's being said. (If you're delivering a major plot point or clue, then obviously the foreign language isn't the best way to go.)
Have you ever seen anyone use translations in the back of a novel so that people don't actually have to look things up, but also don't have to interrupt their reading by text being placed in a footnote? Rich Burlew did it when one of his characters was speaking in cryptograms in his "Order of the Stick" series (I think it's in No Cure for the Paladin Blues), but I've never seen it done in a novel.